Once a month, my school holds an all-school morning assembly. During one particular assembly at the end of May, a group of students who had been working on a traditional folk dance with the Spanish teacher got to perform. They had been practicing for months. They even wore the traditional clothing for the dance. As they got up to introduce themselves, a small group of students in the audience began pointing and laughing.
I wasn't in the room to witness the dance or the students making fun of those on stage. When I came into the room to pick up my students, I heard several accounts of what had happened.
Because they were my students.
My heart broke. I was furious and sad and disappointed all at once. I imagined the embarrassment of the boy who had been brave enough to go on stage and dance, who didn't even want to participate in the first place but was doing it for his mom! I wondered if the girl with special needs was aware that she was also being made fun of. I was mad at the students who were bystanders to the whole situation.
Of course, many of the kids sitting around this group who had been obnoxiously laughing and teasing did not realize what was going on because they were actually really into the performance. Or they were sitting too far away to notice. Or they just tried to ignore what was happening because they didn't want to be seen as part of the group.
I had to figure out a way to get these kids to care. Luckily, we had already planned a Career Day which started right after the assembly for that day, so I had time to cool off and to think of ways to impact my students.
As I led them back to their classrooms, I gave them the calmest, most subtle hint that I was fuming and that I would not just let these actions go.
After the presenters left, I had my class sit on the carpet and read the book Each Kindness by Jacqueline Woodson. I didn't mention anything about the assembly. I didn't lecture them about standing up for others. I just read.
Then, I asked what this book meant to them. As they began opening up I pulled out a pencil and we used it as a "talking object" so that each student would have a chance to share if they wanted. It was amazing what came out as they shared. Some students told stories of times they weren't kind and how they wished they could go back and change it. Others shared about times someone was unkind to them. Everyone listened. In a class of 18, every student was engaged during a 20-30 minute discussion.
If you aren't a teacher, maybe you don't realize what an amazing feat this is. There is RARELY a time in which every student is listening to the speaker. Honestly, it's not even their fault. It's developmental, which is why I don't often teach whole class. But in this case, the topic was just so powerful.
Sometimes we forget that kids need to learn how to be kind. They need to hear each others' stories in order to gain perspective on situations. Their brains are still developing to be able to see how their actions and words affect others.
My purpose in sharing this with those who are reading is to remind you of this. To remind you to take the time to pour into students' social-emotional needs. I know there is curriculum to be taught. So. Much. Curriculum. So many standards. So many expectations put on you as a teacher. But you only get these little humans for a little while. Prioritize what you want them to gain from you.
After our discussion (and, I'll be honest, a few tears from me) I told my class that I could not make them be kind to each other. I could only encourage them to make each other's lives better by choosing to be kind each day. I gave them the option to write out on an index card one simple way they could do something kind daily. Once they finished I wrote "Choose Kind" (inspired by Wonder) on a big sheet of yellow butcher paper and they glued their ideas to it.
For the next week I started our day by posting a quote about kindness and having my class write about what it meant to them. When the bell rang we would meet at the carpet and share our thoughts about the quote.
I will forever tell about this situation as one of my greatest successes because if it made even the smallest impact on the way my students treat others, I know I have made a difference. It's not a story of taking a group of failing students and helping them to pass the state test. It's not a story of getting that one student who just did not get fractions to finally be able to add and subtract them. It's about something so much greater. My heart gets so much joy out of knowing that my students now know how much I care about them as people. Although this was one of the hardest and saddest things I have had to deal with yet in my teaching career, it also ended up turning into the lesson I am the most proud of. I could not ask for a better way to end the school year.
I wasn't in the room to witness the dance or the students making fun of those on stage. When I came into the room to pick up my students, I heard several accounts of what had happened.
Because they were my students.
My heart broke. I was furious and sad and disappointed all at once. I imagined the embarrassment of the boy who had been brave enough to go on stage and dance, who didn't even want to participate in the first place but was doing it for his mom! I wondered if the girl with special needs was aware that she was also being made fun of. I was mad at the students who were bystanders to the whole situation.
Of course, many of the kids sitting around this group who had been obnoxiously laughing and teasing did not realize what was going on because they were actually really into the performance. Or they were sitting too far away to notice. Or they just tried to ignore what was happening because they didn't want to be seen as part of the group.
I had to figure out a way to get these kids to care. Luckily, we had already planned a Career Day which started right after the assembly for that day, so I had time to cool off and to think of ways to impact my students.
As I led them back to their classrooms, I gave them the calmest, most subtle hint that I was fuming and that I would not just let these actions go.
After the presenters left, I had my class sit on the carpet and read the book Each Kindness by Jacqueline Woodson. I didn't mention anything about the assembly. I didn't lecture them about standing up for others. I just read.
Then, I asked what this book meant to them. As they began opening up I pulled out a pencil and we used it as a "talking object" so that each student would have a chance to share if they wanted. It was amazing what came out as they shared. Some students told stories of times they weren't kind and how they wished they could go back and change it. Others shared about times someone was unkind to them. Everyone listened. In a class of 18, every student was engaged during a 20-30 minute discussion.
If you aren't a teacher, maybe you don't realize what an amazing feat this is. There is RARELY a time in which every student is listening to the speaker. Honestly, it's not even their fault. It's developmental, which is why I don't often teach whole class. But in this case, the topic was just so powerful.
Sometimes we forget that kids need to learn how to be kind. They need to hear each others' stories in order to gain perspective on situations. Their brains are still developing to be able to see how their actions and words affect others.
My purpose in sharing this with those who are reading is to remind you of this. To remind you to take the time to pour into students' social-emotional needs. I know there is curriculum to be taught. So. Much. Curriculum. So many standards. So many expectations put on you as a teacher. But you only get these little humans for a little while. Prioritize what you want them to gain from you.
After our discussion (and, I'll be honest, a few tears from me) I told my class that I could not make them be kind to each other. I could only encourage them to make each other's lives better by choosing to be kind each day. I gave them the option to write out on an index card one simple way they could do something kind daily. Once they finished I wrote "Choose Kind" (inspired by Wonder) on a big sheet of yellow butcher paper and they glued their ideas to it.
For the next week I started our day by posting a quote about kindness and having my class write about what it meant to them. When the bell rang we would meet at the carpet and share our thoughts about the quote.
I will forever tell about this situation as one of my greatest successes because if it made even the smallest impact on the way my students treat others, I know I have made a difference. It's not a story of taking a group of failing students and helping them to pass the state test. It's not a story of getting that one student who just did not get fractions to finally be able to add and subtract them. It's about something so much greater. My heart gets so much joy out of knowing that my students now know how much I care about them as people. Although this was one of the hardest and saddest things I have had to deal with yet in my teaching career, it also ended up turning into the lesson I am the most proud of. I could not ask for a better way to end the school year.
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